New Song - Crystalline

Crystalline - Click for Myspace



Feeling crystalline
Fractures along my skin,
Brittle, spread too thin,
Midnight she’s whispering

I think you’re losing touch.
I wish you would wake up.
It hurts me so much.

Begging me to sleep.
Worries worked in deep.
Too many promises to keep.
Shut eyes still see me cheat.

I think I’m losing touch.
I wish I could wake up.
It hurts me so much.

Why can’t I change into liquid?
Why can’t I go back to being a kid?
I’d like to be that flexible again,
When I could do front flips and back bends.

Morning, I’m such a fake.
Caffeine keeps me awake.
Loving just for her sake.
Waiting…just to wait.

I just can’t stand her touch.
This love’s a dead end drug.
I guess I want too much.

Why can’t I change into liquid?
Why can’t I go back to being a kid?
I’d like to be that flexible again,
When I could do front flips and back bends.
The world seemed so big back then.
But now I’m too connected, I’m locked in.
I’d like to be that flexible again,
When I could do front flips and back bends.
When I could do cartwheels and handstands.
When I could do front flips and back bends.
Now my bones are hard crystalline.
When they break, they’ll never mend.

~~~~~~

This song was inspired by many things. Getting older and feeling nostalgia about youth is part of it. Also, the story "Soldier's Joy" by Antonya Nelson that I recently read includes a justification for adultery as bringing back memories from younger days. In the bigger picture, though, I often feel like I've lost something in knowing. Although learning is one of life's greatest pleasures, if we become too content with knowledge that is presented to us, we will lose the sensation of curiosity and the desire to know more. When I explain something like I know it--solidly, correctly--it feels wrong. No matter what science says, or my dad says, or my friends say, or my teachers say, or my senses say, things aren't so simple.